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KetaN SalamoN NadaR

I change for a Change and I dont change for that change
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Committed for Life

15 Dec 2009 20:24:12

After a long walk in Mangalore roads on 6 th December 2009 at 2230hrs I was returning back to my room. I was so very much exhausted,I decided to take a dinner parcel in my room. For a long time my phone was ringing in my pocket as I didn't knew it as I was walking. I removed my phone from my pocket and to my surprise it was my friend Pravin's call. I was thinking why is he calling right now.
I said "Hellow..."
Pravin said "Hellon...,How are you? Are you free I want to tell you something".
I felt he is in Bangalore as he was planning to come to meet couple of his old friends.
I was curious "Yeah whats the matter mate".
He said "I am committed" ;
I was surprised and said "What kind of commitment you are talking about."
He explained "I am getting married in the month of May and getting engaged in the month of February"
I was quite thrilled and excited "Hurrah..hurrah..That is cool man...How come so early..."
Umpteen number of questions I fired on him as it was a very surprising news. Many of my colleagues and friends got married but I was not so much excited as I am presently. As he was one among close friends of mine from college. Among some of the close friends from college he is the first one to get married which is really a wonderful and surprising news. I am very happy for him as he will be getting into a pure relationship with some one. I want to wish my friend the very best in his life and marriage.

Many of my friends and relatives got married in last 2-3 years. I have seen many successful married life , some married life which strained due to some irregularities. I can just imagine what they must be feeling to get into a relationship. After observing lot of marriage lives and success stories everyone can draw some layout about the marriges and the life aftermath.

Even I thought of expressing my views on how to make a married life successful. May be my comments would be quite immature as I am not married yet and even I may not be quite wise to comment on such an issue. But still I will keep my perspective in front of you. I would call it 5 principles for a successful marriage. Now the question is why am I so much interested in this topic. Am I in a hurry to get married. The answer is I just felt like expressing, and I am sure I will not get married so early and even if I get married it will be atleast after 5-6 years from now. Anyways, I will come to the point.

Cute Couple


5 Principles for a Successful Marriage :

1) Spend Time with each other
In this competitive world every human is so much involved in his/her own work that he/she hardly finds time to think about others. This could happen even with couple who are married with each other for a long time. It is quite essential when couples take time to spend some quality time with each other to discuss big things to the small things. Everyone likes to talk about himself/herself and they will become more happier if someone patiently listens to them and appreciate. Discuss with your spouse about your aspirations,about his/her aspirations. Find ways to fulfil each others aspirations. Discuss with each other about health issues,excercise together, do shopping, cook together. May be in the process the time which you spend together would be more fruitful and filled with unlimited joy.

2) Laugh and crack jokes
Even if you are seeing a movie in a theater as soon as a joke sequence comes or a scene which is full of humour you start to laugh and giggle and our whole happiness is shown in front. In the same way in life also if there doesnt exist any humour then it will be quite boring and irritating. If couples can crack joke on each other and share a lighter moment whenever possible will create a quite positive and happier atmosphere all over.

3) Talk and Solve
Just imagine a situation "You are very sick and you are not willing to talk and share your health problems with the doctor, no matter how stong willed you are, you will break one day". In the similar way if you are having some issues with your spouse, about their attitude, their behaviour, your behaviour it will be of no use keeping it within your self and bursting within yourself. It would be wonderful and encouraging if your can speak with your spouse and sort out the differences. That would be an ideal way to win the heart of your spouse by being truthful about your emotions and wishes.

4) Understand
The most important aspect for any marriage to last life long is the ability to understand your spouse. You cannot expect your spouse to be a superhuman or a robot so that he/she will never make any mistakes. It would be stupid to assume that your spouse will understand everything what you have said or you want to say. May be you can express yourself to make the other person understand your emotions. Once you are able to undestand your spouse then he/she will be so very much satisfied with you, then there cannot be any problems due to misunderstanding.

5) Acceptance
The most irritating thing which you can do to a spouse is to change him/her. If you want to change someone then you need to change yourself for the sake of your and your spouse happiness. You have the whole right to change your spouse if he/she is in the wrong path. You may like or dislike somethings in your spouse, but you need to accept it as he/she will be living with you the whole life. Certain things can be changed and your spouse may be working on that, it is at this time you may have to support and give him/her the time for change for the betterment of both of you.

These are the basic principles according to me which is even required to maintain any small relationship, may it be with your friends,relatives...or your colleagues...In the end I would like to wish all those couples who already got married and who will get married a wonderful life with pure commitment towards each other.

After reading this many of my friends,colleagues and relatives might have become surprised and must be wondering "How come Ketan has improved a lot these days and from where did he develop these traits on relationship. As he was not the same couple of years back..." For this my answer would be "May be I have started to understand relationship and in simple words I am becoming a human..."

Thank you...Keep smiling...

Moral : Successful marriage and the life after depends on the commitment which the couple show towards each other.


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Friends comments and suggestions

suhani Says:
15 Dec 2009 at 20:07:42
hey... wise thoughts collected
mahendra Says:
15 Dec 2009 at 20:13:01
The Topic you have chosen is really interesting which will attract attention of all(with few exceptions)...I suggest you to write some more sub points under these 5.. that will create some debatable issues..Your ideas are really good ketan... we all hope u implement these in your future life...
Vivek Bhat Says:
15 Dec 2009 at 20:27:41
The perfect medicine for a happy married life.. The only thing is we are humans... and we misunderstand, get misunderstood, have fights. The only things what keeps us together is "Love".
vivek khadge Says:
15 Dec 2009 at 21:46:32
Dude, the reality is that the system of marriage was made for two basic reasons:1. To have disciplined and self controlled life (as far as sex goes)2. To insure that its not only the woman who is burdened with the new-born, but the man is equally responsible. There is only one TRUE-UNIVERSAL love that exists on this planet and that is Mother's love for her child, rest in life is all about adjustment.
vivek khadge Says:
15 Dec 2009 at 21:46:32
Dude, the reality is that the system of marriage was made for two basic reasons:1. To have disciplined and self controlled life (as far as sex goes)2. To insure that its not only the woman who is burdened with the new-born, but the man is equally responsible. There is only one TRUE-UNIVERSAL love that exists on this planet and that is Mother's love for her child, rest in life is all about adjustment.
Pal Says:
16 Dec 2009 at 09:40:52
Hi Ketan,Hey it was all together a warm experiance to go through your Blog. I just got engaged recently, thereby after seeing the BLOG title, I was much excited and thereby I had enough patience to go through line by line of your Blog.I totally agree to your five simple steps. Keep in touch.U are a genuine Novelist material.Please keep writing so that nomads like me can read all these nice things, and thereby could gather some expeiance/advice.Luv,Iyer
Dimple Shetty Says:
16 Dec 2009 at 10:46:01
Wow.. Wow..! Ketan amazingly written and best part is its analysed the right way..!I have to follow these 5 rules and make someone follow too...! :)
Dimple Shetty Says:
16 Dec 2009 at 10:46:04
Wow.. Wow..! Ketan amazingly written and best part is its analysed the right way..!I have to follow these 5 rules and make someone follow too...! :)
Anup Says:
16 Dec 2009 at 11:50:14
U wrote like an experienced Dude !! Good ! keep writing :)
Pal Says:
16 Dec 2009 at 12:07:58
Good thinking
Pal Says:
16 Dec 2009 at 12:08:26
Good thinking
Pal Says:
16 Dec 2009 at 12:25:32
5 principles whatever u r mentioned here really very good. I wish that u'll get ur life patner as much as early.
Akshata Says:
16 Dec 2009 at 12:29:09
5 principles whatever u r mentioned here really very good. I wish that u'll get ur life patner as much as early.
Pal Says:
16 Dec 2009 at 15:59:23
Nice post however, I would place Acceptance at the top of the list along with spend time with each other. The rest three will naturally follow
Pal Says:
16 Dec 2009 at 16:06:37
Nice post however, I would place Acceptance at the top of the list along with spend time with each other. The rest three will naturally follow
Preeti Says:
17 Dec 2009 at 02:49:15
:) good one ketan..you hv actually written from an experienced eye..and i agree with the points mentioned..its really important for making a successful relation.good going!
Ketan Says:
17 Dec 2009 at 10:06:31
@Suhani: Thank you @mahendra: Yeah I would have introduced more points but I wanted to keep it brief.And I will sure follow these principles..and i am following these evereyday now a days... @Vivek Bhat:Love is quite essential @vivek khadge:Mothers love cannot be compared
Ketan Says:
17 Dec 2009 at 10:09:37
@Pal: Thank you for reading so patiently..congratulations for your engagement @Dimple: I am sure you will follow and you will make someone also follow it...@Anup:Thank you...@Akshata:Thank you for your wishes @Pal:Thank you ... @Preeti:Hey I am not experienced...may be these days i have become more huma..ha ha
NAGESH DIXIT Says:
17 Dec 2009 at 16:01:46
U r more xperinced than married ones.Get commit to sumone otherwise ur wonderful principles wl go waste.
Ash Says:
20 Dec 2009 at 23:38:49
u have and are putting in a lot of hard work for this website of yours, i can tell that buddy!!!Excellent attempt and impressive utilization of time dude, more than ur articles, i am impressed with the dedication and the efforts that you are putting in. fcourse ur blogs r good too...wish u all the best, also take care!
Mahesh Shetty Says:
02 Jan 2010 at 12:02:57
Buddy!!!!u have covered all the valid points..There's new opportunity u can start as a consultant to unbreak the relationsship....So designate u r self from now onwards as Chief Relationship Officer. Girls i was telling u Ketan is always on demand.
vinod Says:
09 Jan 2010 at 10:05:53
ketan, kya chalu hai ye.tu jaldi shadi karle. lekin likha mast